Clotheshorse

She is fascinated by the clothes hanging, nearly dry, on the clotheshorse. Clothes you hung there earlier today.

Your familiar black t-shirt (her mother bought it for you) hangs in front of all the other clothes, almost as if you are there, dangling upside down to make her laugh. She thinks of how the fibres of that t-shirt would normally sit so close to your skin’s warmth, borrowing your smell.

On the lower rungs, your socks retain something of the shape of your absent feet. The socks, like the feet they keep warm, are big and wide and often spend time inside sneakers or running shoes.

The pants hanging behind the t-shirt also leave clues about their wearer. They are worn in places and the fabric is soft: you are someone who has favourites.

Her clothes too are there. Nestled up next to yours are her t-shirts, socks and underwear. She imagines you hanging them, your face serious as you concentrate.

She leaves the room, not wanting to disturb your clothes while they quietly enjoy each other’s company. She wonders that you two can be together is this room while you are really absent from here and from each other. She smiles as she closes the door behind her.

The Future

You tell her that she thinks about the future so much that you worry she’s not making the most of the present. Sometimes she thinks you might be right.

But the reason for her near constant tea leaf-reading is thus: she wants the weight of your years together, of the memories, to feel like immersion in an ocean, the enormous body of water blocking her ears, nose and mouth; pressing on her skin, forcing her body close to implosion. The currents that make the waves on the surface also rock her gently to and fro, and the light from surface creates hanging beads like the ones bought in Asian grocery stores and two-dollar shops.

She looks forward to being able to look back from this place. In preparation she is trying to grow gills.

Jasmine

One day while walking home, the smell of jasmine crept into Polly’s nose, eyes, ears and mouth. She stopped to breathe it in, and to see where it had come from.

On a low stone wall surrounding someone’s house the vine grew wild. She was fascinated: she had never before seen or smelled the plant here. Nor could she remember ever having seen the house engulfed by the jasmine’s scent. She wanted to take a cutting and surround her own house with this perfume.

There was a tall, severe-looking old woman sitting on the verandah outside the house. The woman waved. Her wave was short, curt, efficient. Polly waved back. She couldn’t help but feel clumsy as her hand flopped around on the end of her wrist.

Polly glanced at the jasmine. The woman sat back in her high-backed chair and watched her, daring her. Suddenly the woman’s wave felt like a slap and Polly was embarrassed.

She decided she would come back to the wall tonight, under cover of darkness, to get her cutting.

Apartment blocks all have the same lines

Melle lives in a block of apartments that tesselates nicely with the small, neat gardens that separate it from the other blocks in the complex. All the buildings have the same lines, and these are mirrored in the lines of the garden beds. Her apartment is on the top floor so she can see that the lines form an intricate grid. She can almost see the blueprint that must have existed once – it probably still exists in the vaults of the developer, The Master Blueprint. This is why these complexes all look the same.

When she is at a loss for something to do, Melle will sit and watch the lines, creating in her mind’s eye the builders’ maps for the inside of the apartments. Knowing her small apartment as well as she does, there is very little difficulty involved in doing this: all the apartments are the same on the inside as well. Sometimes this is an activity Melle chooses, not out of boredom or lack of other options, but as first preference.

She likes to imagine how others have arranged things in their otherwise identical apartments. Things are very important to people and Melle likes to imagine what they are and which of them has priority over the others behind the curtains of the other apartments. In her apartment it is paper and pens.

Her work colleagues do not know that Melle draws. Neither do her family; she liked to draw as a child but doubts they would remember.

Melle draws the lives of others, lives she would like to have.

In her wardrobe there are suits, pleated skirts crisp shirts and drawers full of stockings that all smell vaguely dehydrated and burnt, like a dry cleaner’s. Her many pairs of high heels are battered so badly that each day spent with her feet in them is like learning to walk. She is attached to her shoes, enough to keep them even though they threaten to cripple her, but is not precious about them: they live in a pile under her neatly pressed hung clothes.

Her mother always used to pick at Melle’s lack of attention to her school shoes. Melle hasn’t really changed that much.

avocado and lemon

She sat for a while, thinking. Should she wait or should she take the plunge right now? The inside of her skull felt a little like the battered walls of an indoor tennis court. Eventually, out of sheer exhaustion, she made a decision: she would do it now.

She prepared it carefully, following all her mother’s advice.

To her utter disgust the first bite was terrible! She should have listened to her father; he always said that patience is a virtue most useful in reading the subtle language of an avocado skin and deciding if it is ready to eat. Lemon juice is not always a saviour.

Disappointed, she dropped the apple-like avocado flesh into the compost bin.