It’s taken me quite some time to feel like I had the right (or perhaps the guts) to weigh in on the debate that’s being waged about the merits — or otherwise — of organisations like the ABC’s The Book Show and Overland Literary Journal putting out a call for bloggers. Bloggers that they’re not currently planning to pay (at least not with money).

It’s a thorny issue. The Book Show Blog callout is aimed directly at writers under thirty, writers who, presumably, aren’t already being paid for much (or any) of their writing. Overland aren’t asking so explicitly for young writers, but they’ll probably get quite a few applying.

Lisa Dempster, Ryan Paine, Benjamin Solah, and Extra Pulp have all been part of the discussion, as has Alec Patric on the Overland blog. (Clearly, I’m a bit slow off the mark.) I’m prepared to have my mind changed, but most of me thinks that these opportunities are good ones. Sure, they may not pay in actual cash, but (and if you read through the comments on the Overland piece, you’ll see that I’m pretty much reiterating what I’ve written there) being committed to making a regular contribution to, well, something, would be worth it for me. Payment is not always financial.

Again, a repetition of my comments on the Overland blog: I think blogging needs to be rethought. How do we make a distinction between professional and amateur bloggers? Does the fact that some writers might be paid necessarily mean that they are valued over those that aren’t? There are many different reasons to blog; not everyone who blogs considers themselves a writer. Is the distinction here the fact that these blogs are being put together by organisations?

If nothing else, the fact that such a flurry of typing fingertips has ensued can’t be a bad thing.

It seems timely, given what I’ve just done to my working life and income, that I should come across this post on Lisa Dempster’s blog.

I’m afraid this venture of mine might fail. But there’s the remote possibility that it might succeed… and even if it doesn’t, at least I will have learnt something.

And so it begins. I’m freaking out. I got my last pay packet today, and it was less than usual because I’m only working one week of the fortnight, and I owed some money for some extra annual leave taken. So it’s all real now.

Arrrrrgggghhh!

Just had to get that out.

I’m sure the freak-out phase will pass. And then I’ll be able to focus on getting some writing done, and sending it out there, and hopefully getting it published. This is the plan, beyond trying to get temp work.

I’ve spent far too much time over the last two weeks wondering whether this is actually a viable plan, or whether I’m actually insane. Will I be able to get anything published? Actually, scratch that, will I even get anything finished enough to be comfortable sending it to a publisher? Further down the track, once the savings are dwindling, will I be able to eat, or pay rent, or pay bills? Will I end up with a massive credit card debt? Will I get sick of eating lentils and rice because I’m too poor to buy anything else?

And then on top of all of that I have to concentrate enough to be able to go to yoga classes, read all my text books and try and retain information about anatomy, philosophy and language.

What am I thinking, doing this?

Underneath all the worry, though, is bubbling excitement. Right now this feels a little crazy, but once I get a few things sorted out I’m sure I won’t look back.

In the meantime, this man will help me feel calm. Thank you, Mr Lidell.